Champions of Bhumant

(Comte) Parallel worlds?
Stop saying "Look Through Bearnabus!!"

My compatriots and I were minding our own business when the Sorceror gathered us up and basically shoved us through a portal stating there was a “emergency”. I went to hasten Swen, as i am wont to do, and the Sorceror made an effort of will and the Warp Belt worked on ALL of us with no maintenance cost, even Swen’s fancy new Golden Unicorn! (I’m not sure exactly how THAT worked (the horse morphing into a unicorn), but he’s one fine animal! (and the unicorn is great too!!!) Maybe Cheval will morph into a Golden Dragon next!!

Anyway, after going through the portal we found ourselves in a realm eerily similar to the succubi dreamscape. I found I could manipulate the local area similar to the dream realm. Moving down a passageway we found ourselves face to face with a “lord” of this realm. He refused to reason with us, refused to be taunted, mocked our skill at manipulating this realm…. What else could we do? We smoked his dumb ass!! The portal had turned into a rune carved gate. I think we’ve discovered a new calling in our lives!!

(Comte) All that and a Tiger Skin Rug!
Bad Fng Kitty!

A relatively short briefing from the Comte. We were simply seeking mines and/or locations of mineral deposits useful to our burgeoning town when we were set upon by an ENORMOUS tiger of epic magnitude. We tried to avoid engagement as it is not my bent to take innocent life, even those of animals, but to no avail. I Made my compatriot, Sven, Faster and better and he manged to wound the beast. then the pride of Tigresses lept out upon us. Fortunately our stalwart men were able to put he females down with relative ease. At the end of the battle thorn skinned the fell beast into an EPIC Tiger skin rug upon which many women will lose their virtue to my charms. Apparently this skin is priceless….. I shall have to research it’s value and see if it is actually worth selling…. For now it will remain a trophy. Life is good when you are rich, beautiful, powerful, and as epically wonderful as me!!!

(Comte) Mind Rape
Who's a good Bearnabus???

In a rare time of peace I found myself sleeping. As I slept I dreamed. My dreams were unusual even for one so blessed as myself. In it I lept from place to place and only my solid will allowed me to survive attacks from dreamland. I found that I could shape this dream land using my immense intellect.

I saw my old friend Takeshi and simply KNEW that he would not hurt me and he did not. throughout the mind trip I heard Bearnabus saying “Look through” Eventually I succeeded and to my horror/amusement I found myself facing a succubi. I attempted to convert the succubi but to my immense chagrin she resisted my charms. She/It did NOT however, resist my blade.

As her lifeblood dripped from my blade I woke up to my friends around me who advised me that I had been “asleep” for 3 days.

What I took from this is that there is another realm outside our reality which I was just beginning to perceive……..

(Comte) An old friend pays his respects.....
Assassins? Really?

The Baronet Le Douche is coming along nicely. We have a reasonable force at arms with which to patrol the countryside. The keep is fortified, the local forest is being felled to provide wood for palisades that will be converted to stone walls using stone from the local cliffs on the river.

The first craftsmen and women come trickling in hearing rumors of a place where coin can be made and a person is judged by the quality of their work rather than the accident of their breeding (that being said I am still heartily glad that my breeding is the finest!)

I know we are making progress when my old friend the High Prince sends a messenger to pay his respects. One of the assassin’s guild. I hope my reply to him is equally well received. Once we have built ourselves up enough I must arrange to buy patents of Bhumonti nobility, or perhaps wed the baroness if she would consent to a marriage of convenience (though she is a comely woman and I hold her in the highest regard I am certainly not ready to forgoe the pleasures of the flesh for those of ONE woman, no matter how attractive).

At some point our growth will attract the attention of the reigning body of Bhumonti. We must prepare for this so that we are the initiators rather than reacting to some tax collector or military governor……..

(Comte) Settling in

We arrived at the Baronet Le Douche and gained an audience with the Baroness where we presented our plan to establish a mercenary headquarters. an agreement was reached and we began hiring villagers to clear the forest to the West of the current castle structure. We also got our first small contract to eliminate a small group of bandits. Rather than killing them outright, we attempted to recruit the “dirty” trio and were successful.

Thorn and I also worked at raising our proficiency with shooting and fighting.

One of the rare wizards of this realm also chose to make the barony his home raising his tower up in mere moments.

Things are looking up!

(Comte) Un BEAR able!

On the road back to the Baronet Le’ Douche we were set upon by some Ursine foes. One enormous bear that kept increasing in status as we beat upon it as well as 2 lesser bears that were quickly brought low. Eventually we overcame the psychic bear and I won him to our cause with my honeyed words. one of the lesser bears died, but the other lived and accompanied us to the new baronet.

(Comte) A friend's passing.......

We came up with a plan to wear the scouts uniforms, infiltrate the base, blow up the armory, and steal the horses back in the confusion. all that was thrown out the window as the guards at the SE gate were sound asleep. We walked in, hung a quick left, and walked back out with 45ish horses!!!! Our luck turned heavily in our favor as over the next several days we encountered a sneaky guide calling himself Strider who agreed to work for us and an out of work mercenary band of 10 swordsmen and 5 archers who signed on with us.

We made it to the border and there our luck ran out. We were held up on the Forlandian side of the border and had to accept aid from a squirrely fellow who overcharged and then betrayed us leading a band of assassins that sorely wounded thorn and Heinrich and Schultz. We managed to cross over to the Kennish side while being pursued by some kind of mech suited warriors.

Takeshi stayed behind under some sort of moral obligation to regain his honor. while I can understand this in theory, it seemed an unnecessary waste of his life. He fought bravely, defeating the first mech soldier and then, rather than escaping, charged forward and was beaten to death just before the unstable tech of the first mech blew a hole in the Forlandian outpost. He will be missed……

(Comte) Transport problems
I missed an entry last time

All was going well with the transport of the treasure. That is until we stopped one night about 2 weeks South of the Kennish/Forlandian border. Our horses spooked during the evening and went “home” to the nearest Forlandian outpost, a regional command center of some 500 troops. We had more bad luck and a foot patrol of scouts backtracked us to our camp. While we did dispose of the scouts that left us without horses and on short time as the scouts would surely be missed.

Takeshi Mori- Final Entry
So, we decided to try to sneak into the base and steal our horses back. Thanks to the guards’ lack of attention to detail, we were able to sneak in and steal more than our original horses back. We got a many extra as well. As it so happens, we stumbled upon a band of mercenaries looking for work. We made our way through several towns and cities, until we came across the final base in our way to Ken. We found ourselves needing a way across, but we didn’t have the papers required to get across the bridge and into Ken. A somewhat shady fellow approached Comte de Monet, offering him forged papers at the price of 1,000 gold. So, as midnight approached, we found ourselves at the appointed gate. Then, much to my lack of surprise, the fellow stepped out of the shadows and demanded that we give him all of the rest of our money. So, I stepped forward, and as his men came slinking out of the shadows, I immediately attacked one, killing him and cowing one next to him. The battle ensued. These men were deadly trained assassins, leaping from shadows, and raining death down from the roof tops. Three of our party, including Thorn, were struck down. Grievously wounded, but miraculously, not dead. Finally, we drove off the remaining few who didn’t fall upon our blades. Their leader swore his vengeance, then disappeared. Alarms rang out all across the base, our fight having raised the attention of the guards. Several heavily armored men, whom Swen referred to as Mecha Dragoons, lumbered out of the barracks’. They told us that our possessions were now theirs, and that our lives were forfeit. Our party leaped up on the backs of our horses and made for the gate, and the bridge that would carry us into Ken, and the safety of the garrison across the river. I stayed behind at the gate, to give my companions the chance to escape, for theses mechanized infantry were said to be fleeter of foot than a horse. As I stood in the gap, the sayings of the great Miyamoto Musashi came back to me: The way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death. The only reason a warrior is alive is to fight, and the only reason a warrior fights is to win. I knew that my time had come to regain my honor. I knew that I was going to die. As I faced the oncoming warriors, one far faster and more dangerous looking leaped to the fore, challenging me in single combat. I knew one thing for certain: I was going to win. As he attacked, the speed and ferocity of his blows were nearly blinding. Then, once again, the words of Musashi came to me: If you do not control the enemy, the enemy will control you. I returned his blows with several lightning fast blows of my own, but I did not find weakness in his armor. I caught him off balance, however, as his next attacks were clumsy, even striking his own leg, hampering it. As Mushashi said: You win battles by knowing the enemy’s timing, and by using a timing that the enemy does not expect. I somersaulted my foe, landing several light cuts across his armored back. Again, I found no weakness. Again, I persevered. He turned, awkwardly striking at me. I batted his attacks away, gaining confidence and tempo. Now, I knew that I had him. I cut away at his left arm, and then his right, dancing between blows, parrying and dodging, never in the same place for more than a moment. I crippled this machine of war, and left it a smoking ruin. The man inside leaped from the back of it, and ran like a mad man for cover. Everyone gathered around ran for cover as well. So, I ran for the nearest Dragoon, and sliced into his belly. Then many soldiers, cavalry, and other mechanized infantry swarmed me. Too many blows to count rained down upon me, and I received wound after wound. As I finally received the crushing blow from the Dragoon, I knew that my life was over. My body was broken, and I would soon die. Yet, I felt something in that moment that I had not felt for a long, long time: Peace. As darkness clouded my vision, my final perception was that of a faraway booming, like a great cannon, and a flash of the brightest light, leading my way to the next life, a world without war, knowing only peace and tranquility.
Takeshi Mori Journal-Fourth Entry
So, now we are all filthy rich…but what to do about it? We have more money than we can easily know what to do with. The Comte has suggested that we go and store our finances in a Kennish bank. Perhaps we shall do just that. We repaired several of the traps in the cave, cleared our tracks away, and added false tracks leading elsewhere, just in case. We began traveling toward Ken, and one evening, the Comte told us of his past: His parents’ deaths, his raising by his uncle, the many and varied “loves” that he has in almost every town that he stops in. Interesting fellow, but perhaps a bit loose morally. We ran into a merchant along the road to Ken. By and far the most pleasant fellow that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. He had a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Some of everything. He even had a tea set that I bought from him. Finally, I can bring a little culture into this party. Perhaps the Comte will learn what it is to understand the innermost self through reflection and tea ceremony. It would certainly help him put some of his rage to rest. We had the terrible misfortune of losing almost all of our horses one night. Someone forgot to tie them up properly, and they bolted. So, Thorn and myself tracked the largest group of them, only to find a large military base just over the rise. The horses quite obviously lead right into it, giving away the fact that there was something not quite right going on, what with 30 Forlandi horses just showing up out of nowhere. They sent out search parties, and one of them had the…bad luck of finding us. We dispatched them with ease, not even giving them the chance to raise the alarm. Now what to do about our horses…and the base housing them.

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