Champions of Bhumant

(Comte) Loot & Refugees

After the dragon and his cultists death we had to deal with the issue of approximately 40 women and 60 children. They were set up with food, treated by Graile 1) to heal them of scurvy and 2) to verify lack of any sneaky supernatural evil. I approached Michael and asked him if we would have a problem regarding Baragund? He wisely agreed that we would not unless Baragund killed innocents. On that we all agreed.

We escorted a group of the women and children to the fishing village where they would take boats to the Baronet. On the way we were set upon by Dire wolves, Swen made peace with the pack leader and has a new friend!

Now we begin the laborious process of moving the treasure and refugees. We also have a new bolt hole in the event of invasion. The mountain fastness of Dragon’s Reach.

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We killed a dragon?!
Dragon's are real!?

In an odd turn of events we have learned this week that our new companion, Altair, has a brother, Michael, whom is a dragon slayer. We’ve been recruited to help him kill a dragon. After several days of travel, we’ve arrived at the dragon’s lair, finding him to have quite the following of fanatics, which were rather handily ended. The dragon’s lair had many gates made of strange metal, the types of which I never thought to exist. So many crazy things arising recently that I would have never thought possible. But, in the end we seem to have killed a dragon, and it was real… I must be losing my mind.

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(Comte) Dragon Hunting
and those damnable insulting cultists!

We were enjoying a relaxing evening at the castle being regaled by a story of one of Graile’s more uneducated owners when a guard brought before us a man named Michael claiming to be the brother of our new, impetuos, companion Altair. Altair embraced the man and verified that this was, indeed, his brother who was a renowned Dragon hunter. In fact it turns out that all of this man’s family are monster hunters of one sort or another with Altair hunting vampires. A fact which Michael seems to have a hard time in believing in spite of all of our protestations that they were, in fact, quite real!

Michael was seeking his brothers aid in tracking down one of the great Dragons that supposedly lived nearby. Our group volunteered to help him and I was a bit put out when Michael also asked us to bring a group of men at arms with us. Nonetheless, I picked out 15 of our newer mercenaries along with 10 of our veterans and a commander. I also took along Heinrich and the ever present Schultz.

We left in the morning and made good time. All along the way my luck proved true in its typical fashion. We found an abandoned mine that was FAR from played out. I asked Valya to fly back and have the Comtess send along men and supplies to claim it and get it back in producing order. Apparently Valya got lost on the way back and when she finally did arrive she was exhausted and fatigued. We put her to bed for a few days and she was right as rain. We also had good fortune in finding a very prosperous village at a tributary of the river on which the Barony Le Douche resides. I easily convinced the residents that it was much closer and would be much more profitable to trade with us rather than sending their supplies 3 weeks into Bhumanti. Another diplomatic coup!

Upon ascending the mountain we came upon a grizzled old man by the name of Alak who knew of the dragon and was willing to point us in his direction. He also agreed to relocate, contact Strider, and take up residence in the mountains closer to Le Douche where he would act as a scout and early warning person in exchange for trade and the occasional stay indoors.

We approached the “cave” of the dragon and found a veritable citadel before us. I rode up to the gate and a large gentleman with a fanatical light to his eyes greeted me in the most contemptious way. Nonethless I endeavored to be polite and asked if we could speak with the dragon and offer trade and mutual defense. The cultist insisted that I had to bow before the dragon and agree to serve him (as IF!). I stretched the truth and said "yes, we would love to serve the dragon (perhaps with a side of beef and some greens and a nice Chianti!) the cultist was NOT amused and his head was promptly blown off by Swen. thorn climbed into a tower and was fighting the men there when Valya cleansed most of the men with fire. Our troops easily outmatched the gate guards and Michael cleared the second tower by himself with a massive Sweep!!

We tore down the outer gates and found Michael straining at an inner gate. I offered to help and Michael did not reply. I asked Altair if he was normally like this and he said “yes, he likes to do things on his own”. I agreed and spread my blanket out, offered food and drink to the men and Valya and I shared a very nice lunch while I occasionally offered advice to Michael on how i thought the bars looked a BIT weaker now, keep trying! Eventually, tired and sweaty, Michael asked for help. I packed up lunch and we hitched horses to the gate and calmly pulled it off the hinges. We rounded up some cultist families and left 5 men to guard them assuring them of equal shares.

We proceeded through several more gates each harder than the last, Valya telling us the metals were Dragon Steel of some sort or other (we must take some back, it would be quite useful I think!) We also saw IMMENSE amounts of treasure in 6 rooms.

At the end we came to a cave with a large man talking to Michael and many Drgon monk disciples. The large man was the Dragon himself in human form. Michael engaged him while we took out the monks with the loss of 10 of our own men. The Dragon created a mirror duplicate of himself which we proceeded to slay. We then turned our attention to helping Michael. I stripped the dragon of vigor, Valya, thorn and Swen as well as our remaining men peppered the Dragon and he eventually fell turning back into a great reptile. I found an egg in the process of hatching and the small drake that emerged immediately impressed itself on me calling me “mama”.

The most disturbing thing then happened. The vampire, Thrond, appeared and tore out the dragon’s heart and ate it vanishing whilst appearing more Draconic. I fear we have NOT seen the last of him! Next entry The Treasure!

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(Comte) Ding Dong the Witch is Dead!
Which ole Witch?

Reports came in of people going missing in the forest near our town. Being that this is our town and our people should know that they are well cared for and protected our group ventured forth to track down the culprit. We found some weird tracks and followed them into the forest where we found, much to our surprise, a large snow man who chose to block our path! If that were not unusual enough the snowman had a stove pipe hat and a large carrot for a nose! Well it responded not to overtures of well being and peace so Swen blew it’s fool head off! Our new friend, the impetuous Altair, formed a small snowman and I placed the hat and carrot upon its personage after mixing in some snow from Graile. I cannot say I was totally surprised when the snow child came to life. I WAS surprised when it began to grow and learn at a geometric rate and I was shocked when it asked me to place the carrot in the “proper” location (though I approve on general terms, I mean If I had a choice between my nose and MY carrot I know which one I would choose!)

A short time later elves swarmed the rather violent Altair before I had a real chance to treat with them. Once they were driven off their master Kris Kringle in his red suit appeared and told us something of the witch and gave us items to combat her. We proceeded onward and found some giants which were very rude and had to be taught some manners. Valya landed a wonderful fiery blast which damn near blew the leg off of one of them! Inside the ginger bread cottage was, as suspected, an ugly witch. I tried to no avail to persuade her to leave. Thorn shot her squarely in the head and we administered a good beat down. I healed her up a bit and told her to go bother the Forlandians as they were such nice people. I’m pretty sure she agreed or at least fled and won’t bother us again.

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Wicked witch??
Quite a Snow cone...

Off we go to find out why several people either went missing into the forest or coming back in a state of utter confused mindlessness.
Along the way we met a snowman which growled at us and then was blown up by a shot from Swen. after which Altair formed a small snow figure and the Comte put the carrot and hat back on that mixing in snow from the grail and talking with it along the way.
As we walked the snowman grew and learned, and requested the boon of the carrot being put in the correct place which the Comte obliged in doing.
Then we found elves that came out of the woods and was promptly attacked by Altair bringing them to swarm him, then charging toward the rest of us disregarding the Comte’s attempt at peace with them. After we dispatched them a man in a red suit called Kris appeared and after a short chat gave us items useful in attacking the witch, we moved on through the dark white woods to find her abode, right outside of which there were a couple snow giants that were apparently charged with keeping out visitors, the action was brief, but they were brought low in short order as we cut them down to size.
Moving forward we found a gingerbread house inside of which we found the old woman that we had come to know had caused a lot of folks their mental states to be in disarray.
I promptly shot her in the head after the Comte had asked her nicely to leave the area and she refused. after that it was not long before the witch was knocked out by the rest of the party. After which the Comte healed her enough to bring her around and requested she leave the area again, suggesting that she take and go pester the Forlandi folks. At that point her house with all her goods and her promptly disappeared and we started back home with the snowman that had been put back together and cared for by the Comte.

Not sure I would have handled the snowman’s carrot like that.. the snowman seemed excessively pleased with the Comte giving him a hand..

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(Comte) Whamphyre
and a new hot chick!

Our sorceror friend has apparently decided we needed some magical backup and he has assigned his apprentice to aid us. I heartily approve of this as she is, indeed, a sight to behold. Norsk beauty at its finest! At our introductions a Bard of some great renown played us songs that were somewhat remarkably drawn from our pasts. Eerily drawn from our pasts, as if he could read our minds. What’s more, Graile did NOT like him, and Graile likes most everyone. We invited him to dinner as a matter of course nad spent a pleasant evening. Later that night a rider arrived claiming the “bard” to be some kind of Whamphyre or Vampire. the bard had left so we pursued and eventually caught him out. His flesh sloughed off his bones and he fled claiming we would meet again. Very cliche, that’s what all defeated villains say. This is all very strange. I feel we are getting mixed up in things that true men were not meant to know……

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(Comte) Parallel worlds?
Stop saying "Look Through Bearnabus!!"

My compatriots and I were minding our own business when the Sorceror gathered us up and basically shoved us through a portal stating there was a “emergency”. I went to hasten Swen, as i am wont to do, and the Sorceror made an effort of will and the Warp Belt worked on ALL of us with no maintenance cost, even Swen’s fancy new Golden Unicorn! (I’m not sure exactly how THAT worked (the horse morphing into a unicorn), but he’s one fine animal! (and the unicorn is great too!!!) Maybe Cheval will morph into a Golden Dragon next!!

Anyway, after going through the portal we found ourselves in a realm eerily similar to the succubi dreamscape. I found I could manipulate the local area similar to the dream realm. Moving down a passageway we found ourselves face to face with a “lord” of this realm. He refused to reason with us, refused to be taunted, mocked our skill at manipulating this realm…. What else could we do? We smoked his dumb ass!! The portal had turned into a rune carved gate. I think we’ve discovered a new calling in our lives!!

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(Comte) All that and a Tiger Skin Rug!
Bad Fng Kitty!

A relatively short briefing from the Comte. We were simply seeking mines and/or locations of mineral deposits useful to our burgeoning town when we were set upon by an ENORMOUS tiger of epic magnitude. We tried to avoid engagement as it is not my bent to take innocent life, even those of animals, but to no avail. I Made my compatriot, Sven, Faster and better and he manged to wound the beast. then the pride of Tigresses lept out upon us. Fortunately our stalwart men were able to put he females down with relative ease. At the end of the battle thorn skinned the fell beast into an EPIC Tiger skin rug upon which many women will lose their virtue to my charms. Apparently this skin is priceless….. I shall have to research it’s value and see if it is actually worth selling…. For now it will remain a trophy. Life is good when you are rich, beautiful, powerful, and as epically wonderful as me!!!

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(Comte) Mind Rape
Who's a good Bearnabus???

In a rare time of peace I found myself sleeping. As I slept I dreamed. My dreams were unusual even for one so blessed as myself. In it I lept from place to place and only my solid will allowed me to survive attacks from dreamland. I found that I could shape this dream land using my immense intellect.

I saw my old friend Takeshi and simply KNEW that he would not hurt me and he did not. throughout the mind trip I heard Bearnabus saying “Look through” Eventually I succeeded and to my horror/amusement I found myself facing a succubi. I attempted to convert the succubi but to my immense chagrin she resisted my charms. She/It did NOT however, resist my blade.

As her lifeblood dripped from my blade I woke up to my friends around me who advised me that I had been “asleep” for 3 days.

What I took from this is that there is another realm outside our reality which I was just beginning to perceive……..

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(Comte) An old friend pays his respects.....
Assassins? Really?

The Baronet Le Douche is coming along nicely. We have a reasonable force at arms with which to patrol the countryside. The keep is fortified, the local forest is being felled to provide wood for palisades that will be converted to stone walls using stone from the local cliffs on the river.

The first craftsmen and women come trickling in hearing rumors of a place where coin can be made and a person is judged by the quality of their work rather than the accident of their breeding (that being said I am still heartily glad that my breeding is the finest!)

I know we are making progress when my old friend the High Prince sends a messenger to pay his respects. One of the assassin’s guild. I hope my reply to him is equally well received. Once we have built ourselves up enough I must arrange to buy patents of Bhumonti nobility, or perhaps wed the baroness if she would consent to a marriage of convenience (though she is a comely woman and I hold her in the highest regard I am certainly not ready to forgoe the pleasures of the flesh for those of ONE woman, no matter how attractive).

At some point our growth will attract the attention of the reigning body of Bhumonti. We must prepare for this so that we are the initiators rather than reacting to some tax collector or military governor……..

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