Champions of Bhumant

Wicked witch??
Quite a Snow cone...

Off we go to find out why several people either went missing into the forest or coming back in a state of utter confused mindlessness.
Along the way we met a snowman which growled at us and then was blown up by a shot from Swen. after which Altair formed a small snow figure and the Comte put the carrot and hat back on that mixing in snow from the grail and talking with it along the way.
As we walked the snowman grew and learned, and requested the boon of the carrot being put in the correct place which the Comte obliged in doing.
Then we found elves that came out of the woods and was promptly attacked by Altair bringing them to swarm him, then charging toward the rest of us disregarding the Comte’s attempt at peace with them. After we dispatched them a man in a red suit called Kris appeared and after a short chat gave us items useful in attacking the witch, we moved on through the dark white woods to find her abode, right outside of which there were a couple snow giants that were apparently charged with keeping out visitors, the action was brief, but they were brought low in short order as we cut them down to size.
Moving forward we found a gingerbread house inside of which we found the old woman that we had come to know had caused a lot of folks their mental states to be in disarray.
I promptly shot her in the head after the Comte had asked her nicely to leave the area and she refused. after that it was not long before the witch was knocked out by the rest of the party. After which the Comte healed her enough to bring her around and requested she leave the area again, suggesting that she take and go pester the Forlandi folks. At that point her house with all her goods and her promptly disappeared and we started back home with the snowman that had been put back together and cared for by the Comte.

Not sure I would have handled the snowman’s carrot like that.. the snowman seemed excessively pleased with the Comte giving him a hand..

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(Comte) Whamphyre
and a new hot chick!

Our sorceror friend has apparently decided we needed some magical backup and he has assigned his apprentice to aid us. I heartily approve of this as she is, indeed, a sight to behold. Norsk beauty at its finest! At our introductions a Bard of some great renown played us songs that were somewhat remarkably drawn from our pasts. Eerily drawn from our pasts, as if he could read our minds. What’s more, Graile did NOT like him, and Graile likes most everyone. We invited him to dinner as a matter of course nad spent a pleasant evening. Later that night a rider arrived claiming the “bard” to be some kind of Whamphyre or Vampire. the bard had left so we pursued and eventually caught him out. His flesh sloughed off his bones and he fled claiming we would meet again. Very cliche, that’s what all defeated villains say. This is all very strange. I feel we are getting mixed up in things that true men were not meant to know……

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(Comte) Parallel worlds?
Stop saying "Look Through Bearnabus!!"

My compatriots and I were minding our own business when the Sorceror gathered us up and basically shoved us through a portal stating there was a “emergency”. I went to hasten Swen, as i am wont to do, and the Sorceror made an effort of will and the Warp Belt worked on ALL of us with no maintenance cost, even Swen’s fancy new Golden Unicorn! (I’m not sure exactly how THAT worked (the horse morphing into a unicorn), but he’s one fine animal! (and the unicorn is great too!!!) Maybe Cheval will morph into a Golden Dragon next!!

Anyway, after going through the portal we found ourselves in a realm eerily similar to the succubi dreamscape. I found I could manipulate the local area similar to the dream realm. Moving down a passageway we found ourselves face to face with a “lord” of this realm. He refused to reason with us, refused to be taunted, mocked our skill at manipulating this realm…. What else could we do? We smoked his dumb ass!! The portal had turned into a rune carved gate. I think we’ve discovered a new calling in our lives!!

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(Comte) All that and a Tiger Skin Rug!
Bad Fng Kitty!

A relatively short briefing from the Comte. We were simply seeking mines and/or locations of mineral deposits useful to our burgeoning town when we were set upon by an ENORMOUS tiger of epic magnitude. We tried to avoid engagement as it is not my bent to take innocent life, even those of animals, but to no avail. I Made my compatriot, Sven, Faster and better and he manged to wound the beast. then the pride of Tigresses lept out upon us. Fortunately our stalwart men were able to put he females down with relative ease. At the end of the battle thorn skinned the fell beast into an EPIC Tiger skin rug upon which many women will lose their virtue to my charms. Apparently this skin is priceless….. I shall have to research it’s value and see if it is actually worth selling…. For now it will remain a trophy. Life is good when you are rich, beautiful, powerful, and as epically wonderful as me!!!

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(Comte) Mind Rape
Who's a good Bearnabus???

In a rare time of peace I found myself sleeping. As I slept I dreamed. My dreams were unusual even for one so blessed as myself. In it I lept from place to place and only my solid will allowed me to survive attacks from dreamland. I found that I could shape this dream land using my immense intellect.

I saw my old friend Takeshi and simply KNEW that he would not hurt me and he did not. throughout the mind trip I heard Bearnabus saying “Look through” Eventually I succeeded and to my horror/amusement I found myself facing a succubi. I attempted to convert the succubi but to my immense chagrin she resisted my charms. She/It did NOT however, resist my blade.

As her lifeblood dripped from my blade I woke up to my friends around me who advised me that I had been “asleep” for 3 days.

What I took from this is that there is another realm outside our reality which I was just beginning to perceive……..

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(Comte) An old friend pays his respects.....
Assassins? Really?

The Baronet Le Douche is coming along nicely. We have a reasonable force at arms with which to patrol the countryside. The keep is fortified, the local forest is being felled to provide wood for palisades that will be converted to stone walls using stone from the local cliffs on the river.

The first craftsmen and women come trickling in hearing rumors of a place where coin can be made and a person is judged by the quality of their work rather than the accident of their breeding (that being said I am still heartily glad that my breeding is the finest!)

I know we are making progress when my old friend the High Prince sends a messenger to pay his respects. One of the assassin’s guild. I hope my reply to him is equally well received. Once we have built ourselves up enough I must arrange to buy patents of Bhumonti nobility, or perhaps wed the baroness if she would consent to a marriage of convenience (though she is a comely woman and I hold her in the highest regard I am certainly not ready to forgoe the pleasures of the flesh for those of ONE woman, no matter how attractive).

At some point our growth will attract the attention of the reigning body of Bhumonti. We must prepare for this so that we are the initiators rather than reacting to some tax collector or military governor……..

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(Comte) Settling in

We arrived at the Baronet Le Douche and gained an audience with the Baroness where we presented our plan to establish a mercenary headquarters. an agreement was reached and we began hiring villagers to clear the forest to the West of the current castle structure. We also got our first small contract to eliminate a small group of bandits. Rather than killing them outright, we attempted to recruit the “dirty” trio and were successful.

Thorn and I also worked at raising our proficiency with shooting and fighting.

One of the rare wizards of this realm also chose to make the barony his home raising his tower up in mere moments.

Things are looking up!

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(Comte) Un BEAR able!

On the road back to the Baronet Le’ Douche we were set upon by some Ursine foes. One enormous bear that kept increasing in status as we beat upon it as well as 2 lesser bears that were quickly brought low. Eventually we overcame the psychic bear and I won him to our cause with my honeyed words. one of the lesser bears died, but the other lived and accompanied us to the new baronet.

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(Comte) A friend's passing.......

We came up with a plan to wear the scouts uniforms, infiltrate the base, blow up the armory, and steal the horses back in the confusion. all that was thrown out the window as the guards at the SE gate were sound asleep. We walked in, hung a quick left, and walked back out with 45ish horses!!!! Our luck turned heavily in our favor as over the next several days we encountered a sneaky guide calling himself Strider who agreed to work for us and an out of work mercenary band of 10 swordsmen and 5 archers who signed on with us.

We made it to the border and there our luck ran out. We were held up on the Forlandian side of the border and had to accept aid from a squirrely fellow who overcharged and then betrayed us leading a band of assassins that sorely wounded thorn and Heinrich and Schultz. We managed to cross over to the Kennish side while being pursued by some kind of mech suited warriors.

Takeshi stayed behind under some sort of moral obligation to regain his honor. while I can understand this in theory, it seemed an unnecessary waste of his life. He fought bravely, defeating the first mech soldier and then, rather than escaping, charged forward and was beaten to death just before the unstable tech of the first mech blew a hole in the Forlandian outpost. He will be missed……

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(Comte) Transport problems
I missed an entry last time

All was going well with the transport of the treasure. That is until we stopped one night about 2 weeks South of the Kennish/Forlandian border. Our horses spooked during the evening and went “home” to the nearest Forlandian outpost, a regional command center of some 500 troops. We had more bad luck and a foot patrol of scouts backtracked us to our camp. While we did dispose of the scouts that left us without horses and on short time as the scouts would surely be missed.

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