Champions of Bhumant

(Comte) That bite hurt MY marbles!!

how to kill Forlandian peasants....

I woke from a well deserved nap to find that a battle had concluded in which 8 wolves and a Dire wolf had been dispatched by my compatriots. Unfortunately the Dire Wolf managed to, how shall I delicately put this, Ripped off Thorn’s Sack!!! Well, I wasn’t about to touch that, so I enlisted the assistance of of Takeshi, who actually HAS some medical knowledge, to re-attach the boys. Fortunately Thorn was passed out when I injected him with a dose of my patented healing remedy (a needle to the groin must have HURT even if he was passed out!)!

We proceded to parts unknown under the guidance of the Prussian Swen Wall. On the way we saw a local emerging from a hole in the ground. Without provocation Swen shot the man in the head with a .50 calibre rifle!! Now I personally don’t care if Forlandian’s kill themselves down to the last man, but this did seem a bit callous. Well Thorn went into the hill and found the poor man’s life savings. In the meantime Takeshi decided it was dishonorable to kill the man in cold blood (what an odd notion, I mean it wasn’t as if it was one of us or one of his OWN countrymen or bonded servants after all……) He approached Swen and, in spite of my attempts to educate the foreigner in how to politely deliver insult by use of the gauntlet, smashed Swen upside the head laying him low for several hours! In the meantime, to appease Takeshi and Bean we packed the body on the mule deciding to turn in the money to the man’s family if he had any. Thorn complained about loss of profit so I looted the corpse finding 70 coins which I gave to him as recompense.

Upon entering town I bought us rooms at the inn using funds from the man’s chest and then convinced the man’s family, friends, and the local constable that we simply found him robbed 8 miles up the road but did recover the chest with 450 coins in it.

Leaving town we moved SE into Forland on this mysterious errand when we were accosted by a group of 8 Forlandian troops who recognized Swen and demanded he surrender. I, in turn, demanded they cease their idle prattle as I was a Ken noble and would be forced to have our group thrash them. typically they did not believe me and we proceeded to thrash them. One archer, Andreas by name, saw the wisdom of becoming my man-at-arms rather than dying a pointless death or leaving and being hung as a traitor for surrendering (another odd notion, every good Kenish knows enough to surrender as then you may escape and thrash them later (you can’t thrash them if you’re dead!)) Andreas informed me of why Swen was wanted by a Forlandian general and Swen came clean about a cave filled with riches!! It was nice of the Forlandian army to provide us with 4 war horses and 4 riding horses with which to transport more loot from the cave, as well as arms and armor from the deceased knights and men at arms. We proceeded to the cave aware that we were being followed by a large group and determined to set an ambush for them. These will probably be more Forlandish troops so I suggest we use LARGE rocks to drop on their heads as their heads will undoubtedly be difficult to damage………

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Throning_Karma faradhii

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